i want to have the feeling of being healthy from a long diet and regular exercise. i want to have the feeling of exercising sincerely outdoors on a daily basis, the way you said runners feel when they know what to do. i don't feel motivated to learn anything beyond what i can find on google or wikipedia. there is a collection of author interviews and essays that i don't know how to handle. i feel like i am going to tell you what they say even if i don't really know. when we met you perceived yourself this way, i think. [cb]